A 5 year story in the making

If you had me stop and reflect on the last five years, I would tell you different stories depending on the topic. Education, friendships & joining a fraternity, love, or life in general, are each very different stories and how they each developed in the last five years would be a very different story. Right now I want to tell you the love story.

 Yup, that's awkward high school juniors, me & Billy. 2009. Our first photo. This was probably in March after we started dating on January 19, 2009.

Let me just make the long story short about how we started dating. We went to the same youth group, and this youth group goes on a ski retreat every year to Michigan. In October, Billy started talking to me and then we started IMing each other on Yahoo Instant Messenger (oh yeah.. the cool stuff). And then fast forward to MLK Weekend 2009 we found ourselves and oh, probably 30 of our fellow youth group goers in Michigan. The weekend was full of God moments and lots of reassurance for me.

A tidbit to know what I was experiencing going into this weekend goes as follows: April 2008 I had gone through a break up, July 2008 I went to CIY and gave my life to Christ after realizing that I am LOVED no matter what I have done, then in August 2008 I was baptized. I was super excited for this new worship-experince-retreat-type-deal.

Aaaaaaannnnnyyyy way, back to the love story. Here we are in Michigan and then all of sudden Billy, who had never actually hung out with me since we lived 30 minutes apart, starts like sitting at my table for meals and then he like.. walked with me to services.. and had hot chocolate with me, since I hadn't yet come to the dark side of coffee yet. (Side note: white mocha nasty, for anyone who remembers that story) Then sometimes at night we would have free time and one night we were just sitting in the cafeteria playing Slap Jack and talking. It was fun. And then here's another picture, good freind, Taylor Utley one day at lunch told us to frame the fire. So being the awkward indivduals we are we did this:

 I'm not really making a long story short.. sorry. Just reminscing.. And moving forward! That weekend was great, amazing, perfect, awesome, wonderful and then we came back on the buses to Indiana, and Billy asked if I would sit with him. So I did. And we listend to music and I think if we had a song it would be "Haight Street" by Anberlin because we listened to that song like.. so much on that 9 hour bus ride.

So yeah. January 19th 2009 we officially started dating. Our first date was on my birthday at the Danville Winter Guard show and since i was running around like a chicken with my head cut off  it wasn't really a date but he picked me up afterwards and took me home in his truck. Then yah know prom happened. I'm not going to give a play by play of high school.


If I'm trying to high light the important things in the last five years here is the short list:

The day Billy had his first seizure, during senior year of high school, was the first time I knew he was "the one". When Bruce called me and I felt like my heart was ripped out of my chest, looking back, that's a pretty clear sign of love. This is the photo Susan brought to the hospital of us. It's Billy favorite photo of us from that shoot even though I hate it.

Seattle/Tacoma 2010. Serving together, learning together, traveling to an amazing city! I hope God let's us return there some day.

Being at Ball State together, learning about music together, and just learning how to be "adults" together. It's been great. This photo was sometime Freshman year just chillin by the Duck Pond.

 Flight of the Fallen. Words can't even begins to explain how Billy "helping Ty" and play some bass in November 2012 has changed our future. Since then we have met some amazing people, gained gospel friendship within the band that has really helped my faith, and just been a HUGE blessing.

I feel like I left a lot out but it's hard to narrow five years into one blog post. This last weekend our mothers came to Muncie to surprise us with money for us to go on a "ridiculously expensive date that we would never buy ourselves." We chose The Eagles Nest, downtown Indy.

I basically want to thank everyone for all of the fellowship, prayers and encouragement over the years. If you've known Billy and I for any amount of time, you know that we've had our hurdles and we could not have gotten over them without the grace and power of our loving Savior and your help as friends.

"Let all that you do be done in love."

- 1 Corinthians 16:14 ESV

What I really need

Today I found myself complaining to a friend how these next few months are seeming to have the potential for a lot of stress. 

Mumbling about the catch 22 of billy needing experience to get a job but not being able to get the job to gain experience, going on about not being engaged yet and not wanting to live together before marriage and how expensive that might get, also going on to say that the idea of planning a wedding from another city will be stressful. 

Later I got onto Pinterest to kill some time during band practice, and I saw this pin and I was SO convicted by this one pin. 

After almost a month of various ailments and illnesses I am finally starting to feel better and as soon as I saw this image I felt so dumb. If I had only taken more concern to Jesus my whole December could have been different. 

I need Jesus. Three words. Wow. Just kinda hits you like a wall. Sometimes the simplest words in the right combination can be so impacting. 

Additionally with all the potential that 2014 holds I would be lying if I said I wasn't scared. I'm practically shaking in my boots. But the same image that convicted me so, brings me so much hope. 

I need Jesus. I have Jesus. 

I have Jesus as an ally. He is here at my side, on my path, walking beside me! What joy! What relief that I do not have to do this alone! 

Man, sometimes I swear I wrote these posts just so I can process. Haha! 

As 2014 is brand new to us, I am taking this new year as a new chance to cling to our God in every step, for every path, and every mile. I hope that you might join me in this same journey. 

Deuteronomy 30:20 

"And may love the Lord your God, obey His voice, and cling to Him. For He is your life and the length of your days, that you may dwell in the land which the Lord swore to give to your fathers, to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob."

(AMP) 

There's a Battle

There's a battle between good and evil
And it's raging inside of me
There's a struggle, it's God and the devil
It's love against the enemy

There's a snake that's hiding in the garden
There's a beautiful apple tree
There is trouble on the horizon
But I'm claiming victory


I'm going through a very rough time right now but God is greater. He has over come. If you would, I ask for you to pray for me. I am just dealing with all kinds of trust issues, jealousy, desire, motivation and anger. I greatly appreciate your prayers and thoughts as I try to unpack all of this over Christmas break.

Winter's Spell

When winter casts her spell, no one sees it coming until it hits them. 

These last few years while living in Muncie, every winter just is hard. Nothing in particular but the town just turns gloomy and dreary and it is hard to have motivation for school. And this year I am having a particularly difficult time finding motivation for God. 

Honestly. I know it's dark and empty. I want to change that. I'm trying. But the motivation just isn't there.. With the upcoming plans and attempts of jobs the feature is a terrifying idea. I know I should be leaving on god more now than ever but now I seem so far away. So distant. 

I'm not blaming any one or anything, but it just sucks. 

Prayers for reconnection and revival are appreciated.. 

The Upper Hand

As a senior in a "freshman" class I often wonder if my professor is ever annoyed with me. 

You see, I've learned how to play the game. I know the questions to ask, the emails to send. In previous experiences, if Blackboard says "due October 9" I know to complete that assignment. No matter if we discussed it in class or not. 

However, in this class I constantly find myself "clarifying" information. I assumed the group leader position on our group speech, not because I wanted it, but because I'm not going to accept poor grades and I'm not going to let my teammates slack off. 

I guess you could say that's it's my personality or even that I care too much. But quite honestly it isn't either of those. It's more or less that COMM210 is one more thing on my silly little BSU checklist before I can get my diploma and move on. 

All this goes to say that sometimes, it's nice to find a class or task easy because you've been through the harder stuff first.  Because I pushed off COMM210 until my senior year, I am more responsible and more professional. The class is not difficult for me, nor is it a waste of time. It is quite honestly one of the classes I find easiest to learn and also useful. 

All this just to say that sometimes being the odd ball out actually give you the upper hand. 

Appreciation to Musician

Two years ago, if you had told me I would eventually sing in choir and like it as well as learn guitar, I would have told you no way! Two years ago, if you would have told me I would be in a fraternity, I would have told you no way!

Since January 2012 I have been on an exciting adventure of musicianship. Learning how to better read sheet music, how to sing and even play guitar. Now, I find myself set to play a song on guitar for a recital in November.

Yes.. me, perform a guitar piece.. in November. crazy.

All of this goes to say that I am very grateful for the group of ladies that took a chance on the non-music major and taught me most of what I know. I realized tonight in chapter that I was identifying actual notes on the page.. trust me, that's a big deal.

So I guess I said all this just as a thank you. So... to all those before and all those to come, SAI is more than a sisterhood, it's friendship and music for life.

And music truly is the sweetest gift to the soul.

<3

He is enough

His grace is sufficient. 

No matter how far you've gone, where you've turned, He will welcome you home. Gods loving grace is more than anything I can imagine. It covers every sin. Every shame. It forgives. 

That simple phrase is what keeps me going sometimes. 

His grace is sufficient. 

Thankful

I just want to take a moment and say that I am so incredibly thankful for the place in my life that God has me in. 

While some of my friends are going through challenges right now I just want to let you know that you are a loved child of our God and that you are being prayed for. 

<3