What a Sabbath

Man, today I did absolutely nothing productive today. I sat around the house and enjoyed time with my family. We talked, laughed, and planned for the coming months. 

After an entire week of fun activities and more than 1,200 mile of travel, barreling a virus since Wednesday and a to do list a mile long, today was a true experience of a sabbath. Something I'm not really sure I had ever experienced before. 

I am thankful for this rest. This week of fun and activities with friends and loved ones. This #LentChallenge that Billy and I are doing is really something incredible. Today marks the day of being half way through Luke. After not seeing Billy for a week, I am blessed to feel close to him knowing that he is growing in the Spirit and that our relationship is growing closer to the ways of the Lord. 

This #LentChallenge is benefitting me in so many ways that I don't even know yet!  I am excited to continue as well as the exciting things to come. 

Something I wanted to work on in this time of Lent is for me to figure out how to trust God fully. Recently I had heard a sermon that convicted my heart in such a way that made me realize how little I was actually trusting God and how much I was planning and trying to controll. 

This blog is ending abruptly based on the fact that it isn't about me. It's about Jesus and how we should give him control of our lives. If we give God the paintbrush, He will paint a much bigger masterpiece that we can ever fathom. 

Planning

I'm a planner. I plan things, I organize things, I make decisions and make things happen. I mean business. 

Graduation. 

I keep having conversations about how I can't find a job locally or no one will even contact me back. 

I've heard that God laughs when we plan out the details of our lives because only He knows them.  Man; He must be rolling on the floor when He looks at me right now. 

I'm filled with so much fear, confusion about what jobs to go for, worry that I'm under qualified, and so much more. 

The sermon from this weeks service at Commonway just keeps resonating with me. More importantly just the last few lines. 

Paul was one of Jesus closes followers and yet he spent his time not learning about scripture but just knowing Jesus. 

This sermon inspired me to just stop (not entirely) learning about Jesus and get to know Him. I know this sounds cheesy but I want to sit down and get to know Jesus. 

My soul longs for a glimpse of my future but I understand that must wait. Please consider praying for me about these issues as well as rest, focus, and what my next step should be. 

Psalm 13 and Thoughts

 This morning, after weeks of frustration, I opened my bible in search of something that resonated with me, not just something to read and learn. I thought, "Oh, the Psalms. There's like 140, there has to be one that will resonate with me." 

Turns out there's actually 150 Psalms. But I just started going through from 1. I read each theme at the beginning and either read the psalm or passed over it. Then I got to Psalm 13. The theme in my bible says, "Praying for relief from despair. We must continue to trust God even when he doesn't answer us immediately."

Woah. That's it. Yup. People say, sometimes the Bible speaks to you. Yeah. That just happened. Anyway, I read it and just every word of it resonated with my situation in life. And then I felt a calm sweep over me. 

Below is the NLT version, I hope it brings you peace.

O Lord, how long will you forget me? Forever?
    How long will you look the other way?
How long must I struggle with anguish in my soul,
    with sorrow in my heart every day?
    How long will my enemy have the upper hand?

Turn and answer me, O Lord my God!
    Restore the sparkle to my eyes, or I will die.
Don’t let my enemies gloat, saying, “We have defeated him!”
    Don’t let them rejoice at my downfall.

But I trust in your unfailing love.
    I will rejoice because you have rescued me.
I will sing to the Lord
    because he is good to me.