Peer Pressure

Maybe it's just because I'm determined but I never understand it. I don't understand how you can compromise yourself for your "friends".

Why your "friends" would make you do something you aren't totally sold on..

I don't know.. Again. I have just set certain standards for myself I guess.

Also, I know because I haven't done it yet and "don't understand", but what's the fun in getting drunk? Not remembering the weekend or night? Not remembering that one time when..

Somethings I just won't understand...

College.

A Rough Season

When life tells you to make lemonade but there is no sugar, no lemons, and no water, and most certainly no lemonade mix, what do you do?

Every year, after fall break, school starts back up and the professors are like "oh no! i haven't taught you nearly enough! lets get cracking!" And these hard assignments are always due before Thanksgiving. This is "normal" and I'm used to it now. But this semester, the projects just keep adding up and getting more difficult and more difficult.

I just.. just want to lock myself in a room and play my guitar.

Oh. guitar. that's going smashingly well.. :) I'm working on the song "Almost Lover" and it is coming along delightfully.

When I am... There is.

When I'm scared and want to quit.
When I feel like its too much.
When I just want a break.
When I just want to pause.
When I'm not pleased with the way things are.
When I've gotten content in my faith.
When I've wanted to not do anything.
When I want to just shut down.

There is a light at the end of my tunnel.
There is a driving force to every day.
There is something inside me that wants to break free.
There is part of me that wants to believe.
There is still something left.

Politik

Ohhh goodness. The debates are over. The Coldplay song above has been a favorite of mine for years, en lieu of the elections it brings me a meaning or voice of the song.

As America begins to vote, absentee, early or on election day, we are changing the future of our country. I'm not going to express who I'm voting for but rather make a suggestion that was made to me.

Pray about your vote. Pray for the country. And pray for the leaders. 

As always, we should be praying for the leadership of our community, state, and nation, we should also pray on what decision we should make. Don't just get fired up about who YOU think is best or who YOU want in office. Who will lead this country best.

This is a summary of a quote: As you walk in to vote [or in my case, prepare to vote absentee] be praying. Be praying as you are voting. Vote as a Christian. And as you leave, pray for the country. Pray for other voters. Whether you are republican, democrat, libertarian, independent, whatever you are, you are a Christian first.

That really hit me hard. Cause I have my opinions. And I have reasons to not vote for certain candidates. But who do I vote for as a Christian? I shall pray that in the coming days this be revealed as I prepare to fill out my absentee ballot.

As a first time voter, this whole voting thing and being part of the country thing is a pretty cool thing.

'Merica!

pack up'n'leave

Ugh... some days that's exactly what I want to do.. is just pack up and go.

Leave Indiana and just work and live for Jesus and be awesome.. it is so incredibly frustrating to be stuck in school. Don't get me wrong. I am not complaining to be blessed enough to have the opportunity to go to school. But 3 years in I am realizing that the degree and classes I really want are not what I have/can take, nor could I have taken them anywhere else. I want to break all the rules and make my own major.

Jesus broke the "rules" of life. He hung out with the different people. He walked the "path less traveled" not the easy one.. hmm.. it's like he's a role model or something ;)

Guess this is just another young person rant... just stuck in life waiting to break free.. only three more semesters stand in my way of the real world.. and that.. is strange.

That's a strange realization to come to.

I just see my life being like a cocoon and in May 2014, something beautiful is going to break free from that cocoon and bring a new perspective to the world.. add a little piece to the pie ya' know? And I sure hope the 4 years (that I will have spent) in college will be worth something.. 

<3

loose ends

at the end of an event, we tie up our loose ends.

well, i don't want too.. i know thats crazy but i don't want to cut off from Danville.
i love my small group.
i love my girls.
i love the sunrises.
i love my church family.

but, growing up means moving out...

as i prepare to move back to Muncie, i want to share some of the wonderful things that God is preparing for me there.

i am going to be getting involved in Commonway's youth group.  like sponsoring.. a total work of God.

Billy and i are trying to get plugged into a small group (not that the one we have in Danville isn't awesome) again, God is making things work out to give us community in Muncie.

i have an internship. what. a. blessing. it's been crazy but its going to be so beneficial to be in a real studio with a real company doing real work in the "real world"... very real. i hope this is an amazing opportunity to be humble, grow as a tech, and broaden my horizons.

SAI. ahhhhh! i am so excited. I am so excited to have sisters. this is my first active semester and i am looking forward to singing and serving Muncie!

be still. this is my challenge to myself. i had a good time this summer where i was able to pour out to God and then be still. be silent. it was glorious. it was refreshing. it was peaceful. definitely something i long for again. 

as the semester aproaches, i am taking a "light" load of classes but much work. it will be interesting. and there will be several blog posts. hopefully one a week.

it's crazy, in 2 years I will be a real world adult.. i will be in the real world, where ever God has that for me.. i am ready to follow Him wherever He leads, I pray that i can have ears to hear and eyes to see His guidance over the next two years.

tying up these loose ends won't be easy, but i hope i can have another 2 years before i have to do that..

<3

deafening sound of my own ear drum

yes. exactly what it sounds like.

i have been sitting in silence, no music just the noise of my fan circulating air through my room. my right ear drum is pounding. not like a 'hammer and i have an ear infection pounding' but more like it doesn't know how to take silence.

work is never quiet. it is a constant 70dB or more.. don't worry i wear ear plugs.. but most of my coworkers don't. i can't imagine how they stand it. i didn't have ear plugs for the first month.. really wishing i had..

anyway. as i strolled over to NoiseTrade, i just thought of that word.

deafening.

a sound so loud that can be so silent.
such quiet noise can be so loud.

your kingdom come, your will be done

Let Your will prevail above all else. Father, turn our hearts of stone into hearts of joy.

Several thoughts run through my head but this I know is true: God is good. Not just like "oh I got to Muncie safe" or "oh I didn't curse today" but If you surrender He can do more amazing things with your life than whatever you have planned. The best way to make God laugh, is to tell Him your plans.

Father, make the desires of our hearts the desires of your heart.

I have never had such a passion like this and I hope it continues to grow. Recently, I have felt a longing from my soul for a close friend. That they might run back to Jesus' never failing love.

Longing from the soul? It is something I cannot explain but my soul was broken for them. A spiritual pain I had never experienced before. A pain I pray I never have I feel again.

Trust God. His love is never failing, His comfort is never ending and no matter what you have done He is there to take you back. Even with all of your brokenness.

We don't have to go very far. All we have to do is turn around. Not even walk and we are already loved!

Finally, Father thank you for divine intervention.

I shall let the above speak for itself but when all your hope, trust, faith and identity is in Christ alone, no matter what material possessions you have or have not, you are richer than the richest Kings of Earth!

<3