loose ends

at the end of an event, we tie up our loose ends.

well, i don't want too.. i know thats crazy but i don't want to cut off from Danville.
i love my small group.
i love my girls.
i love the sunrises.
i love my church family.

but, growing up means moving out...

as i prepare to move back to Muncie, i want to share some of the wonderful things that God is preparing for me there.

i am going to be getting involved in Commonway's youth group.  like sponsoring.. a total work of God.

Billy and i are trying to get plugged into a small group (not that the one we have in Danville isn't awesome) again, God is making things work out to give us community in Muncie.

i have an internship. what. a. blessing. it's been crazy but its going to be so beneficial to be in a real studio with a real company doing real work in the "real world"... very real. i hope this is an amazing opportunity to be humble, grow as a tech, and broaden my horizons.

SAI. ahhhhh! i am so excited. I am so excited to have sisters. this is my first active semester and i am looking forward to singing and serving Muncie!

be still. this is my challenge to myself. i had a good time this summer where i was able to pour out to God and then be still. be silent. it was glorious. it was refreshing. it was peaceful. definitely something i long for again. 

as the semester aproaches, i am taking a "light" load of classes but much work. it will be interesting. and there will be several blog posts. hopefully one a week.

it's crazy, in 2 years I will be a real world adult.. i will be in the real world, where ever God has that for me.. i am ready to follow Him wherever He leads, I pray that i can have ears to hear and eyes to see His guidance over the next two years.

tying up these loose ends won't be easy, but i hope i can have another 2 years before i have to do that..

<3

deafening sound of my own ear drum

yes. exactly what it sounds like.

i have been sitting in silence, no music just the noise of my fan circulating air through my room. my right ear drum is pounding. not like a 'hammer and i have an ear infection pounding' but more like it doesn't know how to take silence.

work is never quiet. it is a constant 70dB or more.. don't worry i wear ear plugs.. but most of my coworkers don't. i can't imagine how they stand it. i didn't have ear plugs for the first month.. really wishing i had..

anyway. as i strolled over to NoiseTrade, i just thought of that word.

deafening.

a sound so loud that can be so silent.
such quiet noise can be so loud.

your kingdom come, your will be done

Let Your will prevail above all else. Father, turn our hearts of stone into hearts of joy.

Several thoughts run through my head but this I know is true: God is good. Not just like "oh I got to Muncie safe" or "oh I didn't curse today" but If you surrender He can do more amazing things with your life than whatever you have planned. The best way to make God laugh, is to tell Him your plans.

Father, make the desires of our hearts the desires of your heart.

I have never had such a passion like this and I hope it continues to grow. Recently, I have felt a longing from my soul for a close friend. That they might run back to Jesus' never failing love.

Longing from the soul? It is something I cannot explain but my soul was broken for them. A spiritual pain I had never experienced before. A pain I pray I never have I feel again.

Trust God. His love is never failing, His comfort is never ending and no matter what you have done He is there to take you back. Even with all of your brokenness.

We don't have to go very far. All we have to do is turn around. Not even walk and we are already loved!

Finally, Father thank you for divine intervention.

I shall let the above speak for itself but when all your hope, trust, faith and identity is in Christ alone, no matter what material possessions you have or have not, you are richer than the richest Kings of Earth!

<3

Bless the Lord, O my soul!

indiana

Now, as you are well aware, I live in humble ol' Indiana.

We don't have beaches.
We don't have awesome weather.
We don't have mountains.
We don't have more than corn.

But what we do have is AMAZING sunrises and sunsets.

So awesome you should be jealous. When the sun is rising over the corn it is breathtaking.

Be jealous.

:)

fear.

this isn't easy

But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to 

everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this 

with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak 

maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander.  

It is better, if it is God’s will, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil. 

1 Peter 3:15-17 (NIV84)

  

It has become aware that life isn't easy. Even for the believer. True, it can be easier and with the hope of Jesus and knowing the the Gospel is true no matter what happens, the days become more easily manageable even in the worst of situations. I guess this is me venting after a rough week.. 

I am here reminding myself that yes, the week was hard and the next week will be as well. Different challenges will rise and different situations will effect me. But can I tell you something? The Truth is still going to be true.  My God still has a plan. And I still trust in Him! Because no matter how hot the factory was or how sick I felt or how awful my spanish homework was, God is still God and He is always good. 

Never get too busy to find joy in Him. Now don't think I'm excluding me from this.. call me out in October, ask me how well I'm doing. But seriously.. take time daily to find joy in Him.  At 5:15 when that alarm goes off and I didn't fall asleep until midnight, I am not a happy person. But when I turn it off and roll over, I remember that He has given me another day on this Earth, to love for His plan, and to grow closer to Him. Since a wonderful sermon on Sunday which challenged us to find joy in the Lord every morning before we do anything else, I'm here to say 5:15 is pretty ugly unless you find your joy, passion, hope, and outlook for the day in the Lord. 

In the darkness of 5:15am, when there is no sunlight and I can still see the stars this is what I'm reminded of: 

Neither do people light a lamp and put it 

under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, 

and it gives light to everyone in the house.

Matthew 5:15 (NIV84)

There was a noticeable difference in my attitude.. in the mornings at least. And my outlook changed from "I have to go to work so early" to "I get to go to work so early" and god has been so gracious enough to paint me a wonderful sunrise every morning. 

Try it for a week.. besides, reading the bible too much isn't bad for ya.. 

It get's easier. 

<3

 

it's okay to be broken

We are human. We are broken. We are so messed up that Jesus, Son of God, had to die for humanity.

That's deep.

Think about it.


I will wait...


Thought about it? Okay good. Now, we are loved. We are loved so much that death on a cross was nothing! So you might be wondering what I'm getting at.. huh? The title said it's okay to be broken.

After my recent trip to Ichthus and just in conversations I have become more aware than ever before of the brokenness and hurt in my friends lives and my own. I guess it all started at Ichthus... I heard two amazing messages there.. Heres the jist.

story number one: 

there was this guy who was going to go over Niagara Falls (in the 1800s) in a barrel. day of he changed his mind and asked for a tightrope and a wheel barrow. the man waled across the span not once, not twice but three times. before he began the third trek, he asked the crowd if they believed he could do it. of course they all said yes. then he asked one of the most shocking things of all. he asked if anyone would believe enough to get into the wheel barrow. 

now.. on a totally different note

story number two: 

the theme for Ichthus 2012 was Live:Love. you cant live out love until you have live judged. instead of judging others by how they look or what they do, think about how we were judged by God and then he sent Jesus. first, live judged so you can understand the love you are supposed to live. you are loved exactly how you are: broken, hurt, shameful, prideful, a mess. love others with that love that you have been given. 

Now that story time is over, I will explain, and explain what these two have to do with each other. In the first story, Jesus defied sin. He walked "over" it every time. now if Jesus was on that tightrope and he asked you to get into the wheelbarrow would you? Do you have faith enough to believe? The person who really believes, not just a face in the crowd, gets into the wheel barrow. In story number two (though it is pretty self explanatory) it is encouraging to be reminded that even in our horrible brokenness, we are loved. He meets us where we are and holds us in His hands.

No matter your brokenness, your shame, your self disgust with yourself... know this: you are loved. I am included in that.. too often I think about if I could just do this, if i could learn how to do this.. but no matter what happens, we are loved. 

This song has been on the radio a lot lately. The full band version (less acoustic and obviously CD quality not live) is a bit different but the lyrics and the the scripture verse in it has been resonating with me ever since Ichthus. Please take a few moments... 

If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don't love, I'm nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. If I speak God's Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain "jump" and it jumps, but I don't love, I'm nothing. If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, or what I do, I'm bankrupt without love.  - 1 Corinthians 13: 1-7 (MSG) 

 <3